Smart ADHD Stories with Dave Delaney

[0:49] Ian: Welcome to another smart ADHD stories episode. This time I'm joined by the fabulous Dave Delaney, who not only is a communication expert and the CEO of Futureforth, but he's also the host of the fantastic ADHD wise squirrels podcast. He's worked with brands like Google and LinkedIn, and is a keynote speaker and author of several books, including new business networking and The nice method.

[1:12] I like that one. This is a Smart ADHD Stories episode where we delve into the life stories of other fellow smart ADHDers who are successful business owners, creatives, or entrepreneurs. It's unedited. It's a raw episode. So let's get on with it right now.

[1:27] Hello, I'm Ian Anderson Gray, and this is the smart ADHD podcast.

[1:42] Now if you're a smart, creative entrepreneur or business owner navigating your life with ADHD, This is the podcast for you. Now, I'm no ADHD expert, but I'm eager to share my story on what I've learned by talking with experts, as well as digging into the personal ADHD stories of successful creatives and entrepreneurs.

[2:04] I was diagnosed at age 46, and it answered so many questions in my life. But of course, that was in many ways, only the start of my journey. So let's learn together. Smart stories, smart strategies, smart ADHD.

[2:32] Hi, Dave, welcome to the Smart ADHD Podcast. How are you doing?

[2:36] Dave: I am grand. So I am Ian. Thank you for having me. I'm, thrilled to be here.

[2:41] Ian: it's great. we've been talking to Each other for a while trying to get this to happen, but you know what it's like when you try and get two ADHD entrepreneurs together. We're all busy. We've got lots of stuff going on. we, Met each other quite a few years ago. I was trying to work this out.

[2:57] I think it was back in 2019 in Nashville, Tennessee, for the tribe conference, I think.

[3:04] So that was, that's quite a few years ago. and that's, that's the area where you live, but you're not originally from Tennessee, are you? So tell us a little bit about your, background, where you from.

[3:17] Dave: Yeah. So I, yes, and you're right. that is exactly where we met. I'm from Toronto or Toronto as we say, or Toronto, Toronto, Ontario in Canada, the great white North, and took a trip to Ireland in 1997. no, 1998 and met my wife who, who, or girlfriend at the time, who is American and not Irish.

[3:45] And we lived abroad for a few years in Ireland and Scotland and other places. And then we, moved to Toronto and then had two kids and we still have them. although

[3:56] Ian: that's a good thing.

[3:57] Dave: some days we will see what happens. and, ironically or unironically, they are Irish twins. So they're 11 and a half months apart, which is a term that I had never heard before.

[4:09] and actually I'm already rambling here, but, and this is just the intro. I hope that I hope this is going to be a six hour interview, by the way. but I was going to say very quickly that my wife and I had the second parenting podcast ever. So I've been podcasting almost 20 years next year. And back in 2005, called two boobs in a baby.

[4:30] All about becoming parents and it was a ramble cast thing. And I say that because our listeners were commenting when we announced that we were pregnant the second time, our listeners kept commenting Irish twins. And we were like, Oh, that's because we met in Ireland. we never really knew.

[4:46] That's what that meant. yeah, so we had Irish twins. We still have them. And we raised, we moved to Nashville, Tennessee, 16 years ago. So we're, we've been here since oh, seven.

[4:57] Ian: That's cool. I have to admit, I haven't heard that Irish twins thing before either. So you have to explain to me what that actually means.

[5:04] Dave: I don't know why maybe the Irish are known for having a lot of kids. I don't know. I don't know that many Irish people with any kids, let alone a lot. But, but Irish twins that the term, I don't know the origins, but, it basically means that you're the kids have to be born with within a year.

[5:24] like less than a year apart and our kids are 11 and a half months apart. And so one was planned and one wasn't, but we, won't say who.

[5:32] Ian: Oh, that's cool. So well, I've learned something that's great.

[5:36] Dave: There you go. Look at that two minutes in and you've already learned something new. I'm done. My job is done here.

[5:42] Ian: And that was the smart ADHD podcast. No. So

[5:47] So, can you tell listeners a little bit more about what you currently do? I'd love to hear your entrepreneurial journey just very quickly. And then what I want to do then is to dive into your ADHD journey.

[5:59] But what, is it? What, how would you describe yourself in terms of what you do and how did you get to what, you're currently doing?

[6:06] Dave: Yeah. That's a great question. And it is not a quick one to answer. but I will do my best. So I have a pretty deep background in marketing, promotions, publicity, that kind of stuff. I worked, in performing arts promotion and marketing, from there went to a newspaper, worked in promotions executive, doing that.

[6:27] And then I worked for a television network in Canada before moving South to Nashville, where I worked for a software company and then a hardware company. And then I went out on my own and I started doing digital marketing coaching, which then evolved, During that path, I was doing a lot of public speaking.

[6:45] and I trained with Second City in Toronto. So I have a pretty rich history of performing improv comedy. and so these paths all cross at different moments in my life. but fast forward, I started. Doing more presentations and I cooled off a little bit on the, digital marketing coaching stuff and started focusing more on the speaking and then Google called me.

[7:14] Or someone from Google called me and I ended up speaking, becoming a speaker for Google for about six years teaching small business owners. So it was like my digital marketing background with my public speaking and facilitation talents. And it was the chocolate and peanut butter scenario.

[7:30] and then From that, I started focusing on doing more workshops as well. And so I did the Google stuff for about six years representing Google. And then, not as an employee, they were a client, but during that time I started creating my own, this nice method. My business is called future forth, future forth.

[7:52] com. And then. Now I, am coaching again, but I'm also coach. I'm through wise squirrels, the podcast and the site. And we'll talk about that too. I'm sure. I started coaching. Professionals with or without, but it seems to be more with ADHD and I don't claim to be a, an ADHD coach. However, I've learned a thing or two, over my 50 plus years.

[8:20] And, my ADHD coach said, more than I do at this point. So that's where I am at right now.

[8:27] Ian: I love that. That's such a, if you don't mind me saying this, that's quite an ADHD story because you've been, you've gone through so many different paths along different paths, and then you've moved on to another thing and another thing, but they are all, they all are related. They're connected to each other.

[8:43] And I love that. I would, I wanted to ask you a little bit more about the. the performing backgrounds because you mentioned that right at the start of your journey and then that kind of came back. So what's the, what was the background there and, how has that, I suppose helped you later in your life?

[9:01] obviously with speaking and stuff that you're currently doing.

[9:04] Dave: Yeah. So I have a presentation I'm doing now that's pretty relatively new called the root down and it's a process or process. Canadians say process, by the way. but, And it's, I've learned to speak American here. so it's a process or process and it basically is three parts. It's know yourself, respect yourself and connect yourself.

[9:31] So it's three sections of understanding your strengths and understanding yourself and then accepting yourself, respecting yourself and loving yourself all in that second section. And then the third section is about connecting yourself. And in part that's about finding community and overcoming loneliness, which we all suffer from.

[9:47] And Global problem. and so we can certainly talk about that stuff. for me with performance, like being, I mentioned the root down because I begin that story in my, in first grade when, I ended up getting kicked out of school for disrupting a play, a school play. it wasn't just that, but that was the cherry on the pie or cake or whatever they say.

[10:15] And that was, so I've always loved being on stage. I've always loved making people laugh. I've done some standup as well and storytelling nights and of course, tons of improv and connecting all those dots. I've realized that over the, over I'm extroverted already. I love people. I love helping people like all of that.

[10:39] But what I've learned is that when I'm standing on stages, regardless of what I'm talking about, I get the audience learning things and laughing and having a good time and that rush of dopamine hits hits me is is what's missing right? Because as we know, like with ADHD, we lack dopamine and, It took me a long time to realize until I was diagnosed that, Oh, hello.

[11:05] part of the reason why I love being on stages and speaking and teaching others how to present, and storytell and all that good stuff. It all comes from this like rush of dopamine that I feel when I'm on stage. So I hope that answered the question.

[11:18] Ian: Yeah. definitely. It's,

[11:19] it's, and I, feel a kind of similar thing, when I'm on stage, although I'm an introvert and there's a definitely And quite a big element of anxiety that comes into that. So just before I go on, but then when I go on, it's just, it is this amazing rush. And we can maybe come back to that because with ADHD, there are often other things that are going on in our heads.

[11:42] it could be anxiety and other things, but I want to, go back again in, into your life and, I'd love to hear where you think ADHD first became part of your story. And obviously. I'm assuming you got diagnosed relatively recently, I don't know, you tell me, so tell me, maybe tell us when you got diagnosed, but then let's go further back and when you first can remember, ah, yeah, that was ADHD.

[12:14] Dave: Oh yeah. So I was diagnosed last year when I was 50. so it just before my 51st birthday. So I was 50 going on 51. I'm now 52. and so that's when I was diagnosed to, to answer your question about first realizing it. it's a weird, it's a weird journey. In that, a couple of things.

[12:44] So how I was diagnosed, let me start there. So in 2016, my wife had mentioned, I probably have ADHD. she's a school teacher. So she deals with all types of children and she knows me very well. And she said, you probably have ADHD, and At the time at 2016, I thought, okay, I'll go get tested and, yeah, I'll go see my doctor.

[13:12] And so I did that and I saw a psychiatrist and had a couple of sessions with him. The results of that, those sessions, I recall, I was definitely diagnosed with anxiety with a, little hint of depression, just a side, just a smidgen of depression. and. The biggest takeaway I got from that set from those sessions was mainly stop telling my wife every crazy idea I have because she has enough stress with her job and her life and, only share the stuff that I'm actually going to do.

[13:49] once it's rather than tell her every idea and she's listening to me instead, tell her. I'm fine to share an idea with her when it's like something that I'm actually going to do when it's, when it's actually in the works a bit. anyway, so fast forward to 2020 and I, the world was imploding as we all know, it was a terrible year and there was a lot of stress, naturally with, the pandemic and so forth.

[14:21] In addition to all of that, a tornado came through Nashville, which destroyed my kids school. And fast forward three more months after that, and another storm came through and left us with 10 holes in our roof, branched through our roof attic into the living room, right over the chair that I'd been sitting in just an hour before.

[14:41] and that became, As a professional speaker, I wasn't suddenly a lot of my work, had dried up or of course switch to talking on camera, which was great. Stressful. And during that whole time, we had to move out of our house for three months. So during the pandemic, while I had to balance, working with contractors and insurance and all the other stuff, it was just stressful.

[15:08] So I started drinking a little too much, which I've been known to do in my twenties and even early thirties before I had kids. And it wasn't that I was drinking like ridiculous amounts, but I was having like three beers a night when really, I probably shouldn't have been having, more than one or maybe none.

[15:27] and so I decided to take 30 days off drinking just, when I lived in, I don't know, You say this too, but in Ireland, it's, get off the piss,

[15:37] Ian: Yeah,

[15:38] Dave: right? so we'd say you're going out tonight. Nana, I'm off the piss. All right. I'll see you next week. so I was off the, I decided to get off the piss for 30 days, just take a break.

[15:48] And so I did and found non alcoholic beers that I had no idea existed. And I was like, holy crap. And so now four years sober, I've just stuck with those. So it was really the stress of all this. So I'm getting to the point. So all this stress had me on this journey of improving myself. My dad had died or was in the process.

[16:12] He was going to die of dementia and Alzheimer's and he was in a nursing home and in Toronto and I couldn't visit him because of, the covid. so anyway, there was a lot there. And.

[16:24] and then last year I was working with two, fellow entrepreneurs and one, one of them I didn't know. And the other one I know well, and a sort of mastermind. And the one I don't know very well, text me out of the blue one day and says, Hey Dave, do you have ADHD? And he said, because I do. And I could see it in you for sure.

[16:43] And he's you need to go talk to your doctor. And I did. I went, I took his advice and I'm like, Oh yeah, I thought I had ADHD a long time ago, but so I went to see my doctor and the long story short, which is really a long story, which is that my doctor says, let's do some tests and he did them in the clinic.

[17:04] And then he looked up my charts and he's Oh, hold on. Oh yeah. You saw that doctor in 2015 or 16. And yeah, it turns out, yeah. He said you were, a candidate for ADHD. So somewhere along the line, I missed the memo. I don't know how that I had been diagnosed with ADHD. but what's a few more years and, a life this long already.

[17:26] Ian: you got there in the end, but

[17:29] Dave: there in the end. like the story, right? You're like, okay, land the plane, Dave. yeah.

[17:34] Ian: that's what this podcast is all about is hearing, the story. Cause it for so many of us, it is a long journey. And so how has that in this last, it's been just every year, hasn't it

[17:47] since, then, like, how has have things changed? Because for many of us, the get getting diagnosed, that's like the start of the journey.

[17:55] You think, I don't know about you. But you think when I get, if I get diagnosed, I can lay this to rest and I can not relax, but, But for many of us it is, it's the start of the journey. So how, was that for you?

[18:09] Dave: Yeah. right away I started researching ADHD. perhaps I was hyper focused on it

[18:17] Ian: Yeah, yeah. , I've been there,

[18:20] Dave: and being, I've been online. I'm an early adopter of social media back before it was a cesspool of dumpster fire or whatever you want to call it. I'm an early adopter of social media and web 2. 0 and all that stuff.

[18:34] I've been online since online was a thing and that includes pre internet, but now I'm just aging myself and, So I've always been very transparent online and blogging and all the things. So I created a website called wisesquirrels.com for fellow late diagnosed adults with ADHD, like you and me, who I affectionately call Wise Squirrels and I call them Wise Squirrels us Wise Squirrels because wise.

[19:05] is the wisdom that we've earned and learned through the years of developing unknowingly developing coping mechanisms and surviving and thriving this long in our lives to adulthood having great successes and yeah failures too along the way but that's normal so it's the wisdom that we've earned which is why I call it wise and then squirrels because squirrel and so straight away I launched the website And then being a veteran podcaster, I was like, I need to start a podcast.

[19:36] So I started the podcast. And so again, I did this all. And because I'm a creator and I edit my own podcasts. I like, I have no problem blogging and creating it all, buying the domain and all that stuff. So I just did all this practically over a weekend and launched the podcast and started speaking with subject matter experts.

[19:58] And yeah, that's been a big thing is I just wanted to remove stigmas and share my own journey with my listeners and, and encourage other people to, embrace their diagnosis and the treatment that their health care provider recommends, which is different for different people, but, I, for me personally, yeah, it's, been the number one thing that I've learned to do since being diagnosed has been the most impactful, I think.

[20:36] And it's just giving myself some grace understanding that, now that I like understand ADHD very well, and I always say I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on the internet. and there are those who do probably, there's plenty of misinformation and disinformation. We can talk about that too. but I just, I don't, I encourage people to just if you're a late diagnosed adult or if anyone with ADHD, it's just a matter of giving yourself some grace and understanding that you're going to hit, you're going to have days where you run out of steam or moments every day that you run out of steam, you're going to hit walls when you get stuck.

[21:18] and it's a matter. And you're also going to get hyper focused on great stuff and you're going to like, knock it out of the park with that. So giving yourself grace is I think probably the biggest

[21:31] Ian: Yeah, I would totally agree with you on that one. the, for me, it took away a lot of guilt. I think that was piling on myself before.

[21:39] Dave: Mm.

[21:40] Ian: and obviously as you've just quite rightly said, we know we're, not doctors, we're not medical professionals. So

[21:47] anything that we talk about those in this episode, do, if you are concerned about anything, do see a medical professional, we're not experts in, that side of things

[21:58] need to get that out of the way, as you said.

[22:00] Dave: Yeah. Not to interrupt, but I will add very quickly that it's in, in speaking with a lot of people and doing my own coaching now as well, that. It's important to point out that, like some doctors, there are quacks everywhere, every country. We have great doctors and we're thankful for that. and we have some that are not so great.

[22:23] And so there's always 1 or a small percentage of people of naysayers and so forth. So it's always important, especially with science and medicine and health to listen to the majority of people. but I wanted to point that out because when you talk to your healthcare provider, your GP or whomever, it's good to ask them first, like what their opinion is on ADD or ADHD,

[22:44] Ian: Yeah.

[22:45] Dave: right?

[22:45] Because just to see, because if they say Oh, it's not real or it's, Fake or whatever. Oh, I don't know about that. then it's time to find another GP. and, then go on the journey. So I did want to mention that.

[23:02] Ian: no, that's a really good point and we, I do want to delve back into sounds really dodgy This delve back into your past

[23:09] Dave: Yeah. Yeah,

[23:10] Ian: see how ADHD has affected you But I think this is a really interesting topic and I did want to talk to you about this and

[23:16] this is like What is the point in getting diagnosed?

[23:20] I just before we started recording we were talking about this I have friends who are pretty sure they've been diagnosed They have ADHD, but they don't see the point in going down that path. And some of the things that I hear from people, and I totally get this is like, Oh, I, it depends on the country you're in, like in the UK, there's like a two to three year.

[23:42] waiting list to get diagnosed. So you have to go private in some circumstances, which costs a lot of money. There's the issue that GPs, not all doctors necessarily know that stuff. In the UK, there was a report from the BBC Panorama that was saying that people are being overdiagnosed. And so then you start to worry about that.

[24:02] Maybe it's all in my head. So what, in your view, is, why do you think Why did you seek diagnosis? And why would you think other people should get diagnosed even if they might think they have it, but what does the diagnosis actually change?

[24:19] Dave: Yeah. That's a great question. I'll preface this by saying that I'm, I'm technically I'm Canarican now, right? Neil Young. I'm like half Canadian, half American, I guess more Canadian, probably. In Canada and the UK and most other civilized countries, it's illegal to, or it's not just illegal, they just, you can't advertise medicine on television.

[24:44] unfortunately that's not the case in the U S which means that every American is an expert in what medicines they think they need. Unfortunately, that's the reality here. And I have family members on this, in the U. S. who are practically pharmacists or chemists, like they know, and they're not at all, but they know everything about every type of medicine.

[25:07] It's ridiculous. So I was always very proud of the fact that at 50 when I would go, up to 50 every time I saw a doctor or nurse or whomever for whatever, like flu or whatever it was, I would go to a clinic. They'd always ask me, what medicine are you on? And I'd be like, nothing. And they're like, no, prescription. Nothing like I'm not on no, I'm sorry. what drugs do you take each month? And they would always be blown away. Like you're not on anything. I'm like, I take some vitamins. so I, I share that because first of all, like I, And then it almost correlates, right? Where as soon as I become American and American citizen, I'm on prescription drugs.

[25:47] It's damn it. They got me and I don't have a passport, which is so American. I'm picking on the Americans here. I don't have one yet. I have my Canadian one. so I say all that because. I don't want to take medicine. I've always avoided it. I'm very, I like to research things in sound good places, not just, on Reddit or somewhere.

[26:19] So I say that because it's important also to look at what other countries do as well as the states, because maybe the states aren't always doing the right thing. and, to your point about, over diagnosis or, per perceived or claimed over diagnosis. I can't speak to that specifically.

[26:39] However, yeah, that with the opioid crisis and all that stuff, that, it has happened clearly. so it is something to worry about. But it is my understanding and again, not a doctor that stimulants are not addictive. at least that's my understanding. So there's that, for me personally, yeah, I did research it, but the benefit to answer your question, the benefit of of being diagnosed is, is to know your operating system.

[27:16] Like I call my brain, my operating system, right? There's other people call it different things. And I sometimes feel like my operating system is like an iOS, great operating system, but it's in an Android device, right? So it looks great. Some of the apps work awesome. Some things still work fine, but then other things are sluggish and some things just don't work at all.

[27:38] and then maybe it'll crash and you'll have to reboot.

[27:41] Ian: We've just lost all our Android users from listening to this podcast,

[27:46] Dave: Sorry, everybody. Sorry, everybody. Yes. Yes. Yes. yeah. And I'm not like a Apple fan boy or anything, but, I, yeah, I was a PC guy for a long time folks. so it's important to get the diagnosis and then receive the treatment that your healthcare provider recommends for you. you won't, at least in the States, you won't get, you can be died.

[28:17] Okay. Again, don't quote me on this, but my understanding is that you can be diagnosed with ADHD, but maybe not treated for it necessarily. If you don't, tick enough boxes in the DSM five, which is what the U S uses as the sort of Bible of, ADHD and other diagnosis. or so. it ADHD has to be disrupting your life in enough ways to be treated for it properly.

[28:48] And also, you also have to have a proven Prove it, you have to have a track record, a history of this, so it's not that you're like going through moments of, oh, I keep losing my keys. I must have ADHD, but rather to your point about my, backstory and my history, which I'm happy to share.

[29:09] It's, about going back through your life and realizing, oh, wait, I was yeah. And this is also answering your question. I was the hyper kid in the classroom. I was the joker. I was disrupting classes. I couldn't focus. I, I actually have my mom, God bless her. She kept all my report cards. So I have them from the seventies and the eighties and the, and I guess early nineties.

[29:37] and all the comments are there. Like they are like stereotypical exactly the comments I include them in the root down. They're exactly the comments you would expect. Dave would do better. Dave's a smart kid and would do better if he applied himself. Dave's a, a great natured, funny kid, but he needs to be quiet in class, and pay attention or Dave would be wonderful.

[29:58] if he did his homework or and then fast forward to high school, Dave would, we, we like Dave a lot. We wish he would show up to class and, yeah,

[30:08] Ian: Yes, looking back on those early reports can be quite, quite an eye opener, like if only we had known back in those days and one of my favourite reports was like Ian Gets easily distracted, but he does respond well to encouragement. I was thinking well, Why didn't you encourage me more?

[30:31] but Yeah, one of the things that I don't know whether you've had this that Can be a problem you can look back in your past and think oh if only I had known and you

[30:41] I know that some people get quite angry about this now, thankfully just because the quirk of my personality I didn't go down that path that but I know people Who have got diagnosed later in their lives and they've looked back and they've thought oh, if only I'd known What would be your message to people who are maybe struggling with that?

[31:02] Because that can be quite a difficult Stage in your life when you're looking back and they're asking that question

[31:15] Dave: in the root down, I have three sections, right? Know yourself, respect yourself and connect yourself. That respect yourself is key. It's, understanding, it's giving yourself grace, as I said, but it's also not focusing on the past or focusing on the future as much as it is being present and being in the now, I mentioned all that chaos in 2020.

[31:37] obviously that was before I was diagnosed. However, I was planting the seeds, getting myself ready for the diagnosis unknowingly in a way, by, by becoming, by being sober. helped. at the time my dad had dementia and Alzheimer's. So I realized I need to do everything I can like eating better, exercising, getting a sleep apnea test, which I tested positive for.

[32:05] So I'm like, Oh, okay. So now I sleep with a, CPAP, because my ox, my brain doesn't get oxygen for moments as I sleep. And that's a, that can lead to, or that can contribute to, Alzheimer's. and nothing spices up the bedroom folks, Good night, honey. Yeah, that's some sexy that will assure we've never have kids again. So at least we got that going for us. God, I love my kids. don't. But again, like all of these things led up to that. And one of the key things, a couple of points, one of the key things I've learned in this journey is that, and this has been said different ways, time, and time again, I can't actually find the original source of it, but it's, if you think too much of the past.

[32:57] That can lead to depression. If you think too much of the future, that can lead to anxiety. And so the key thing is to be focused on the present and on the now. And in 2020, I also started taking meditation and mindfulness much more seriously, and I started a daily practice and I continue that to this day and my own practice of meditation.

[33:21] has helped to lead to being more self aware of reframing my thoughts. and it's been really just eyeopening and, a great revelation. And again, a wonderful way of leading into this diagnosis, because now I know why I need to be more present. And it doesn't mean you can't think about the past and reflect on the past.

[33:43] That's okay. But don't dwell on the past. Don't think about these what ifs, I wish I'd known or what if I did this or that I think about my life like, had I known that I had ADHD and I was being treated for ADHD when I was younger. I probably wouldn't have been, I probably wouldn't have been out of the pub as often as I was, drinking copious amounts of beer and being merry.

[34:10] Luckily, I was a happy drunk, so it was okay. I wasn't getting into fistfights or anything. but had I not been a part of that culture, and, traveling, abroad. And again, all my story has all these chapters, but I wouldn't have met my wife. I wouldn't have gone to Ireland. I wouldn't have had my kids who are awesome.

[34:35] And my wife is amazing. I wouldn't live in this house. I wouldn't be here now talking to you. So I think even when your life is crap right now for whatever reason, and I have certainly my own challenges as well. It's important to focus on the positive stuff in your life and understand that I'm not, I don't live in, in, in Gaza.

[34:57] like I, I, I, don't live in the Ukraine, And I can look out and see a blue sky and it's sunny and have my health and my family has their health. So like life is good. It's, not perfect. And it never will be perfect. But again, following this journey and understanding the other thing I wanted to mention, like anxiety and depression this way, the other thing very quickly I wanted to mention is that and about the drinking is that Dr.

[35:29] Russell Barkley, who's, the, one of the authorities and ADHD treatment and so forth. Even though he's retired. He's got a great YouTube channel. I recommend you check out he, there's a quote. I have it on wisesquirrels.com slash life and the quote is that it with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, your life expectancy can be up to 13 years less. And for that reason, and part of the reasoning of that is addictions and it's excessiveness and it's these things that I now reflect on my past and realize like when I smoke cigarettes, I smoke like a chimney and I would empty the pack. When I drank, I would always drink a little too much. I'd always end up with one or two extra pints that I shouldn't have had.

[36:20] When, with kids, with my kids, we'd go out to eat together. I would always finish their food. I would eat my son's chicken fingers. I would eat my daughter's fries. And as they got older, they're like, Oh God, dad, come on. Like I would just eat all their food. I always blamed it because my mom, she grew up in London during the blitz, man.

[36:44] Like she's a war child back then. So she understood like rations and understood the importance of eating all your food. And then my dad just was mean about it. He wouldn't let me leave the table until I finished all my food. So I always thought like I need to clear the plate and that's why I'm like this.

[37:02] But the truth is that might've been part of it. But the truth is because I am excessive. I have to eat it all and and that can contribute to obesity, diabetes, cancer, all these things, or the alcohol or drugs, all this stuff can lead to overdoses or more depression with which also depression and anxiety or comorbidities of ADHD and something Russell Barkley talks about is, You can be treated all you like for alcoholism, or you can be treated for, or just like with a fitness instructor trying to get healthy, and making better decisions.

[37:43] But the root cause oftentimes can come from this ADHD. And so a lot of my life, I've seen doctors, therapists before for anxiety and related things. But now I know it's the ADHD. That is at the root of a lot of this. And so it's treating and understanding ADHD so that I can then accordingly, I can treat my anxiety, which is what I'm doing now with my doctor.

[38:12] Ian: yeah. And I think a lot of these things, these addictions, can be part of that, I think before you're diagnosed can be you self medicating, that's been my experience. Like I think I was just I now look back and I was really low on that dopamine. So

[38:31] like I needed to have that extra donut or whatever it was, or an extra drink.

[38:37] or it might be, cause you've mentioned anxiety. It could be like, you're feeling really anxious and, just, you're, again, you're treating that through these other things.

[38:47] and so actually understanding that can make a massive difference. So that understanding that, okay, like it's ADHD at this, at the heart of this, and I'm trying to self medicate, that piece of information can really change your life.

[39:02] And, That statistic, because I've heard similar statistics about, if you are undiagnosed ADHD, then you can expect a shorter life. that, that's pretty sobering. and

[39:17] I don't want this podcast to be too depressing, but I do try and keep a balance. I think, I hear some people to say that ADHD is your superpower and I'm not knocking the fact that ADHD and we'll come back to this in your life. I'm, you've already mentioned that the ADHD can contribute to a lot of positives in your life. you've mentioned like

[39:38] traveling and meeting your wife, but the flip side is it can be a real, I don't know, just not a good thing.

[39:47] Dave: yeah,

[39:47] Ian: losing my words. And

[39:48] Dave: no, yeah, you're right.

[39:49] Ian: yeah, so I, I want to go, I do want to come back to, to, to this, but I want to go back to.

[39:56] You mentioned that you got diagnosed last year and that it was like 2016 is when you started to think about it but Looking back further into your life like through the ADHD lens Can you look back to when you were a kid? How did ADHD Anxiety and you've mentioned depression as well.

[40:14] These are three three things that have definitely been part of my life as

[40:17] well Like looking back like how did they manifest themselves right when you were like a young kid?

[40:24] Dave: Yeah, it's interesting because, I've connected dots in this way. as I mentioned, like just, getting into trouble at school. but my, journey with like, high school, I was kicked out of four, I was kicked out of high school five times, and that was of four different schools. Like one of the schools, let me come back, gave me another shot and I got kicked out again.

[40:58] And ended up, not graduating high school with my friends. And, And not even going to like university or college in any sort of traditional way, that people do that. My kids are now doing my son just left to university and I'm super excited for him and a little jealous. I'm like, man, I want to do this.

[41:20] This is great. It's such a cool thing. It's amazing. how we pay for it. I, God only knows,

[41:30] Ian: Yeah. that's another story

[41:34] Dave: yeah, it's a, it is a great country, but there are definitely, there's some room for improvement on the, education and healthcare front. so yeah, so my education of just goofing off and making poor choices and.

[41:53] I was drinking in my teen, my early teen years, already and smoking pot and, and, I think it's funny in the States to ADHD or not, like just talking to American friends because they all got crazy at college and in college here, it's like 18, but of course in the U S you can't drink until you're 21, which is insane to me.

[42:18] and, so it's interesting in the U S because I, feel that like Americans, I feel as, a Canadian with or without ADHD and probably, a Brit too, like you, you make all the poor choices and do stupid stuff when you're more, when you're younger, like a teenager or what have you, and here you do it later because I don't know.

[42:41] I don't know where I'm going with that, but yeah, I, don't know how else to answer the question really. I There were certainly very dark times for me when I was a kid. Definitely. They didn't all have to do with my ADHD to they also had to do you know, this is an important point is that ADHD is as hereditary.

[43:01] It's actually I've researched it. I've had a couple guests of my on Wise Squirrels. Mentioned this quote that ADHD is as hereditary as height and I've researched it and it's not quite, but it's close. It's 90%. And I say that because oftentimes, especially these days, more women are being diagnosed because their kids are being diagnosed and then they see it in themselves and they were missed because of, I guess sexism, but also not understanding ADHD clearly enough to understand that there it's not just hyperactive.

[43:38] although, and that's what the boys were. Right? so more women are being diagnosed. Now. I had a point here. and what was I saying was my point to this?

[43:52] Ian: you talk about like the hereditary ness of, ADHD

[43:57] it's similar to height or what,

[44:01] yeah.

[44:01] Dave: Thank you for bringing me back. Robing me back in. I appreciate that. the reason why I mentioned that is because now knowing that I also now know what's going on. With pretty good confidence that one or both of my parents had ADHD, it's just, it's very likely. It's 70 to 80 percent likely or something to that effect based on gender.

[44:28] it gives me pause to forgive my parents for some of the stuff I went through as a kid because they were undiagnosed. And didn't know they had ADHD, probably one or both. and when I think about them, my dad's dead now, but my mom is still alive. And in fact, it's that British stiff upper lip. I don't know.

[44:52] It's like she could, take us both in a fight. Like she's 88 and she's like kicking ass. It's great to see. She's awesome. but it's also interesting now, like knowing what I know about ADHD and understanding that, yeah, like my parents. Probably had it too. so it's, part of the, yeah, it's part of my own journey of thinking about my past and things and, yeah, not dwelling on it though.

[45:20] Ian: Yeah, that's, and that's the key. I think it's important to, you, when you're going down the journey of getting diagnosed with ADHD, you do have to look at the past and you have to look at, what was my childhood like? Because again, I'm not no expert, but I believe that. In order to be diagnosed with adult ADHD, it needs to be seen to be present as a child.

[45:42] Dave: right.

[45:42] Ian: that's the case. and so it was like, it was really interesting to look back at the struggles, in family life and, school and all that kind of stuff. And to, realize, ah, okay, yeah, that, that is why that was a struggle. We've mentioned anxiety and depression a few times.

[46:02] So how did, how has that affected you? And do you this is something that I'm still not, I still don't quite understand. I'm doing loads of research on it. I'm trying to understand it, how it works in my life, but I'm interested in your life. Like how does, what is the interplay between ADHD, anxiety and depression?

[46:22] do you see That's, some people would say that the ADHD feeds the anxiety. Some people would say, the anxiety feeds the ADHD. And like, how does depression rear its ugly head occasionally with you?

[46:36] Dave: Yeah. It's well, this is more speculation because I don't know scientifically how the, how

[46:44] Ian: this more, for you though? Like,

[46:46] Dave: but for me personally, yeah, I, there's certainly, I'm definitely suffering with anxiety my whole life, and it's definitely held me back from reaching certain successes that I otherwise should have reached.

[47:03] I'm very smart, I'm very capable, I'm knowledgeable, like all the things, but for reasons probably more related to like self doubt and imposter syndrome. And I believe certainly those are quite common in ADHDers and, perhaps they're also common with anxiety. And perhaps if you are holding yourself back, even unknowingly from reaching certain milestones or successes, however you want to call it, that could also lead to depressive feelings.

[47:40] At least I don't know enough about depression. but like with my own anxiety and things. Yeah. I, I, my understanding at least is that it's the ADHD that has caused a lot of the anxiety in me. And so I think the two play together. more recently I started seeing a therapist, My doctor had prescribed me some stimulants and we went back and forth trying them with some nothing serious, but some side effects and things.

[48:12] And, he said, I, he got, we got to the point of trying different things. He was like, I think it's time to go see a psychiatrist who actually understands ADHD specifically so that they can prescribe you the right mix, the right dose and so on, right? Because there's different stimulants, there's different drugs and there's different amounts.

[48:34] So it's not just one and done, you take something, see how it feels. And then you gradually go higher in dose until you level out to something that feels good. what we did was, I moved on to the psychiatrist and we started taking, I changed meds, started taking a stimulant that she recommended.

[48:54] Played with the dose as I just explained and in therapy, she's this anxiety is really still here, heavy and shining through and so she was like, let's take a step back. Let's focus on the anxiety first and then the ADHD. And so she treated me with meds. For the anxiety and then we reintroduce the, stimulants.

[49:23] So on anxiety or depressed depression meds medicine, At least again, my understanding is it's something you take, but if you're taking it, it's not something you should just stop cold, right? It's, dangerous to do that. So, definitely don't do that and talk to your doctor and all that fine print.

[49:43] with the stimulants though, You can stop and start. It's up to you on how you do it. I take stimulant, a stimulant every day with my anti anxiety med, and that has helped me level things to a better place. Am I perfect? No. Will I be ever perfect? Of course not. that's not human. And.

[50:07] Some of the stuff around meditation and mindfulness, that I've really benefited from and learning about, things like that. first of all, you don't want a life with no problems because what kind of life is that? And I know I've surfaced, you're like, yeah, I want to be, and, I want to be down and Italy or somewhere on an island, just drinking copious of rum drinks or whatever, you like kick back and just enjoying my life.

[50:37] And yeah, but that would even get boring after a while. and so we all have problems in our lives to solve. And that I think that's part of being human. And so it's not a matter of trying to be perfect or trying to feel 100 percent all the time. life is a rocky road. And so I think, but I do think that, especially with ADHD, anxiety and depression are both core morbidities of ADHD, as are other things like OCD, bipolar, all these things, and then the less, scientific things, like misophonia and, RSD, like rejection sensitive dysphoria, like these things are not part, at least in the States, they're not part of the DSM five.

[51:25] So they're not like officially connected scientifically, but there are some assumptions that they are. But, anyway, so yeah, I just encourage. And I'll also mention this as far as meds go. so I'm seeing another therapist now and she specializes in, CBT, like a cognitive behavioral therapy, which I have found to be really helpful.

[51:52] I was still stuck some days. I am still, and. She decided let's, take a, let's take one week off the stimulants. Cause I'd been taking them every day. Let's just take a week off and see how you're feeling. And I did. And I wrote, I have a sub stack, a newsletter, and I wrote about this.

[52:14] I actually, I wrote it on the blog at wise squirrels too. So you can find it there. and I called it. Something to the effect of like I'm treading water and what I found in that week off the stimulants was I felt like I was treading water in the sense that like I was in a Like picture yourself in a great big, nice pool and you're in the center and it's beautiful where you are, maybe it's some fancy, nice resort and the weather's great and you're in there and you're happy and you're just treading water and it feels great and you're getting exercise, but then you keep treading water and your arms start to get sore and your legs start to get sore and suddenly it's oh shit, sorry, if I'm not allowed to curse, or swear, but you're like, oh God, I'm going to, I'm going to drown here.

[53:02] Like I'm like, I'm overwhelmed and the waves are getting bigger and you're splashing everywhere. That was me without stimulants. I, felt great for a while until I didn't and then. That was a big revelation for me because I've read online and heard from some people about how like meds boom, Oh my God, I'm on this wonderful stimulant and life couldn't be better.

[53:28] ADHD is a superpower. Hooray. and I haven't experienced that. I still haven't experienced that. We're taking meds. I'm like, I, know for sure. Things are better, but having been off those stimulants for a week, I'm like, Oh my God, like how did my wife marry me? this is what I was like before being on this stuff and before being treated and researching this and everything.

[53:56] again, results may, vary, but, yeah.

[54:01] Ian: Now that's really interesting to hear your story and Yeah, there's something that i'm looking into at the moment They you know the interplay between anxiety and adhd and it's so interesting to see how medication has helped with that, but also that your, the psychiatrist or whatever you were saying was decided to focus on the anxiety first and then the ADHD.

[54:23] Cause, and this is why it's so important to, to see a specialist who actually understands these things.

[54:29] So I'm also interested. This is something I've been thinking about. I've been going down a little bit of a hyper focus rabbit hole this week, and I've been looking at impulsivity and anxiety and. Some people have said to me like ADHD is so cool because I go down these rabbit holes and I know my impulsivity.

[54:49] Yes, I have to keep it in check, but it allows me to take risks in my business. And as an entrepreneur, like that can be, it can be a good thing. Not always for me. I sometimes find that my anxiety spoils all the fun of my impulsivity because it stops me from being impulsive. I was really impressed with you when you were diagnosed.

[55:11] You thought, ah, like Wise squirrels and you set it all up in the weekend. I've done similar things, but I think sometimes I, in, my worst moments, I overthink and I try to become a perfectionist and my anxiety gets in the way, and it stops me from doing some of, my best work. So I'm just interested, in your life, how, do you, see a tension between anxiety and impulsivity?

[55:37] And maybe hyper focus, but how does that work for you? I'm just really interested.

[55:40] Dave: Yeah. I'm a big comedy fan and so everything from Monty Python, like from Flying Circus to, to Kids in the Hall and to Mr. Show, in the States, Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, just brilliant, sketch comedy. And they were in an interview recently. David Cross has a podcast now.

[56:05] Yeah. And he was interviewing Bob Odenkirk, and, Bob Odenkirk, they mentioned going down rabbit holes and Bob Odenkirk is hold on a second. This is misinformation or disinformation because rabbits don't dig holes. And I was like, Oh my God, he's right. and all we've been fed lies people. And he went on and on about it.

[56:30] I was like, Oh my God, I'd never really thought about this, but rabbits don't dig holes. Looney tunes. Yeah. All right. Bugs bunny did, but he was an animated bunny. He wasn't a real rabbit. Real rabbits don't, they just pop around everywhere like groundhogs do and moles do, but. Yeah, rabbits don't. So anyway, I had to share that up front.

[56:49] Ian: So that's the second, that's, not the second, that's like the 10th, 12th thing I've learned this, podcast. You keep giving me this stuff. It's, brilliant.

[56:57] Dave: I'm here to help. so yeah, it's, yeah. So the connection or sorry, the, and now I've totally lost the question cause I'm an idiot. Why, sorry, say it

[57:10] Ian: it was, like on, so this impulsivity

[57:14] and anxiety, like how, what's the interplay with

[57:16] Dave: Yes. so I've been working for myself now for 13 years. And I get into this like cyclical thing where I'm like budding, I'm hitting walls constantly professionally. And I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me? Like, why won't, why can't I get past that? and then, as I said, imposter syndrome, you start seeing colleagues who are like way ahead of you and you're like, what the hell?

[57:47] and I'm not somebody that's overly competitive or anything like that. I'm not jealous. If anything, it's the, it's all the snake oil salesmen out there and, get rich quick, people who, really grind my gears. Cause then I'm like, why are they successful? And I'm, not, they're just creating lies, man.

[58:09] come on people. and so I think it's interesting, I think between the, The success and the challenges through my own career, I found that, it's definitely common to, to hit these walls. And so I've learned that there are certain things that can really help get you over the walls or over the hump.

[58:36] and they include things like, coaching. And so like part of the coaching I do now. It's, part of it is holding you accountable to the things you're trying to, achieve the things you're trying to do, but with ADHD, we especially need accountability. we need, I've been working on the root down my next book for months and I'm self publishing it probably most likely.

[59:01] my last book was published by a publisher and I wrote it. with undiagnosed ADHD, and it was not easy. I will be the first to say. However, I wrote it because I signed a legal contract that I would have to write this book. I had deliverable dates. I had to get the chapters to the editor. there were people holding me accountable.

[59:25] And I think accountability is a big piece that I was missing in, in getting things done. and so I would say that's definitely something that I help my clients with now, big time, because that's a big part of it. And also just the encouragement of getting things done. The other thing too, is, something that really helps with ADHD or ADHD years, especially fellow wise squirrels is a body doubling.

[59:54] And. When I first heard about body doubling, I thought of this SCTV, another great sketch comedy show, Canadian, with, body doubling of Andrew Martin and Catherine right here on this artsy video where they're like, and just, and for those who can't see, I'm like, Putting both hands, both palms up against the screen.

[0:16] And then it body doubling is not that body doubling is basically working with someone else, taking short breaks to speak to one another or to check in. But for the most part, it's, heads down working on mute, but just having that other person there. With you as you work, can be incredibly helpful.

[0:41] And I had a great sponsor of my podcast, which I will happily plug. even though they're not a sponsor anymore, but that's okay. called focused space focus dot space. I might have an affiliate thing still. I don't, I have no idea, but you can use code Dave if it still works. I don't know. but regardless, it's, it is a great thing to try because they have a host.

[1:04] And they do some mindfulness and some meditations that are not woo It's it's okay. if you're, not into that kind of thing, it's fine. but then they have these like concentrated sessions where you all work together on camera, but you're just plugging away doing your work.

[1:21] And so I find body doubling has really helped me too. And I offer something like that with, the coaching that I do.

[1:28] Ian: That's cool. And obviously, do head on down to Wise Squirrels is it wisesquirrels.com

[1:32] Dave: Yeah. wise squirrels. com. The podcast is, wise squirrels as well. Or a ADHD wise squirrels.

[1:38] Ian: no, that's that's really cool. Really good. So so let's talk about the now. So you are now you are doing the coaching, which is awesome. You've got the podcast, how so what's the mix in terms of what you're doing is, the Wise squirrels? The main focus? Is it part of the focus?

[1:58] What? What's the mix? Because like in true ADHD fashion, I'm sure you are, you've got a lot of Different things spinning around

[2:06] Dave: Yes. Yes, I do. I'm getting better at that. And that is definitely something that has been a challenge through my career. Certainly my entrepreneurial career. because I genuinely want to help people. I'm not just saying that, I really want to help people. Like I offer like a free coaching call to see if we're a good fit, first of all.

[2:31] And I also don't, I'm not a BS or I don't, I'm not going to take someone's money if I can't help them, With, coaching or whatever. and I just, I really do love helping people and being genuine about stuff I do. And I say that too, because I don't, I haven't in the past always had the best business sense, right?

[2:57] So Wise Squirrels is a great example of this as our most, not all, but most of the podcasts I've had. And by the way, had I been diagnosed, if you want to talk about thinking back, had I been diagnosed and treated for ADHD, Back in 2005, I would still have the same podcast and I would have Joe Rogan money, except I wouldn't be platforming, the podcast.

[3:20] Freaks. so there's that I wouldn't be responsible for the disinformation people. Not that Joe Rogan is exclusively responsible for that, but that seems to be the business model for podcasting these days is build up a loyal fan base who listens to you and then bring on, people spreading terrible lies.

[3:39] So that you get more listens and people talk about you online and then the advertisers, will give you more money, which is really a sad state of affairs as it applies to podcasting and content in general. Whew. Okay. That was the end of my TED talk. yeah, but, yeah, I, I say Wise Squirrels, because I mentioned that because when I launched my squirrels, I did not launch it with any sort of business idea.

[4:09] I launched it because I wanted to share. What I was experiencing with listeners and whatever to see if there is a there and there is people have responded as I'm sure you've heard, it's incredible getting the reviews, getting the feedback from my listeners of letting me know, just a thank you this is important work you're doing and so on.

[4:33] so to answer your question, Wise Squirrels is something that I. Do want to make into a proper business, something that is actually not costing me money, and I don't have enough Patrions yet. to claim that it's not costing me money. but it is costing me money. So I'm trying to bring on some sponsors, more sponsors.

[4:54] I'm trying to, encourage Patreon folks to support me with a few dollars a month. And I'm also, kicking around some ideas for some other stuff that I'm working on. That, I'm excited about possibly bringing to fruition. So we'll see about that. As far as future forth goes, my, my core business is future forth.

[5:17] com. And, I help professionals improve how they communicate. And that could be through, that can be through coaching and consulting, which I am open for consulting as well, but it's also. It's also through the presentations, keynote presentations that I do that are all related to improving how we communicate.

[5:36] And, one of those is called the route down. And that specifically is about ADHD.

[5:40] Ian: I'd love you to come back on the show to talk about that. Cause that sounds, amazing. I wanted to ask you about, this is something that I've thought about a lot. And that is, I think this, is definitely an ADHD thing. And it's that when I've done my best work, it's when I followed my curiosity and I, so like my business did really well up until, in the 2000s.

[6:07] 20, 2021. And then like, a lot of businesses, it, I was starting to to struggle in terms of what is it that I want to do? So I, very briefly, I. My classical singing was my background in the day. Then it was social media, marketing, live video. And then I got to this point thinking like, I, what I really want to do, like, you were saying, it's, I really want to help people.

[6:35] I want to make a big difference in people's lives. And when I was diagnosed with ADHD, I thought, maybe I should, do something to do with ADHD. And it was really where my curiosity was going. And I almost didn't want, so this is going to sound weird. I almost didn't want to spoil it with any business stuff.

[6:54] I just wanted this to be a passion thing.

[6:57] So like I actually deliberately. Like I did back in the day in 2011, when I launched my blog, I deliberately, it was not a business thing. It was, I was writing about stuff that I was passionate about and I found that the same. With smart ADHD, but there was maybe a slight difference.

[7:14] Maybe this is because I'm older and wiser. I don't know. It's not that I don't want it to become a business. I'm very open to it becoming a business and maybe it will. And my wife seems to think that maybe this will be successful at some point. I'm hoping she's right, but I almost don't want to spoil it with that.

[7:31] I just want to. Put my passion and my excitement, my curiosity into this. And if it's successful, great. If it's not okay.

[7:41] but I, but at least I'm working on something that I feel passionate about. I just wanted to know what your thoughts on that is. Is there, was there any elements of that in what you're doing or how important is the business side of things?

[7:55] To Wise Squirrels?

[7:56] Dave: Yeah. the business side of things. is, very important. but yeah, so I started wise squirrels, as I said, as a hobby. and which is really how I started podcasting too, like with no business. Nope. I there was no, I did it because I love podcasting and I love audio and I love connecting with people, talking to them and sharing and inspiring and, that, so we're both of the same sort of web two generation of that, of social media for the sake of being social or social networking for the sake of like social networking as a networking well, which is what my first book is about, new business networking.

[8:41] It's not about like icky networking where you Need a shower after all these people. Why are they whipping business cards in my face? just cut it out. Not like that. at this age and to your point about being wiser, I think I've, realized that the more money I can earn. That I will earn the more I can contribute it to the things I care about the most in the world.

[9:09] And so the more money I can make, the more I don't have to keep it all. I'm not like that. I don't have to have a yacht, small boat canoe would be great. I'm Canadian. But so I, it's not that I have to have all the things. In fact, one of our family mottos is experiences over things. We'd much rather travel anywhere.

[9:34] Not on a tour, but like travel somewhere and we're travelers. We're not tourists. We travel and learn about cultures and language and customs and all these things. And we do that with our kids. That is the stuff that I love. That is the stuff I get excited about, about, bringing my family abroad and places.

[9:54] so that all said, I think it's wrong. Not to try to. It's fine to have hobbies. It's absolutely fine to have hobbies. but I think if you can connect them to your business, why the hell not, make a living from it. If you're doing good in the world and you're in there for all the right reasons.

[10:19] like right now, I want to, grow wise squirrels to reach more people like us. remove stigmas and help educate people and help encourage them. I had, Dr. Bob Dempsey on, one episode, who was the former international space station director for NASA for 16 years. And he was diagnosed at 60 after that engagement, or I think it was after.

[10:44] and now he's working for like blue origin or blue horizon, blue origin. I think He was one of those like inspiring stories and I'm trying to share more of those inspiring stories on my show as well as the subject matter experts, doctors and so forth. So I am trying to, I plan to monetize it.

[11:05] I plan to make it into part of my business. Yeah, because as I said, the more money I can make, the more I can contribute to the wellbeing of others and reinvest it in the world. And that's what I would like to do. That's what I plan to do.

[11:22] Ian: love that. I think it's a really good reminder. And I think for me, it's probably a journey I'm going through where I look back and I think I mistakenly think that the business side of things. Gets in the way, but that's, not the way it should be. It's, I think you can follow your curiosity and be excited about something and make money at the same time.

[11:44] And you've actually reminded me of something that my coach was saying just last year, that you can change the ors into ands, it's not a case of you can do this or this, you can do something This and this, they're not, you can have them both at the same time. And I think that's definitely the case with this.

[12:05] Dave: Yeah.

[12:06] Ian: Yeah. That's

[12:07] Dave: I just wouldn't add too many ants. That's the only thing, with ADHD, we can add a lot of ends and that's, the challenge. I think of, for, ADHD years, if that's great advice. Don't get me wrong. Your coach sounds really smart that is solid advice. But if you have ADHD, I think it's a good idea to work with a coach who has ADHD or who has a really good understanding of it.

[12:35] Again. I don't I'm not a certified ADHD coach and some of those programs are questionable. I think maybe I don't know some are better than others. I think But I think working with a coach who has ADHD can help bring, just put it, put the advice, the sage wisdom that we all have consumed in the thought leaders, videos, podcasts, books that we've all probably, the similar ones and the different ones.

[13:05] But I think, Yeah, I think it's distilling that through the lens of ADHD is important to understand, as I said, the accountability piece is really important, but also understanding that, you may run out of steam or you may need to outsource, some things there's something called the Eisenhower matrix, which I love and I have it on why scrolls.

[13:25] com. You can download it there. It's free. It's four quadrants. I have it actually above my desk on the walls to remind me and it's important and then not important along the sides and then on the top. It's four boxes. It's urgent. The top two are urgent and the top. The other two are not urgent. So you could just sketch it out and then the urgent and important boxes do.

[13:48] This is the stuff. It's important and it's urgent. You got to do it. Do it. The not urgent and important is to decide, decide what you want to do with this. It's not urgent. So you can put it off a while, maybe set a reminder to do it another time. It is important, so you definitely want to do it, like your accounting or, whatever.

[14:10] Then there's not important, as I said, and urgent, right? So that's stuff that you need to delegate. So if it's not important and it's urgent, you should probably just delegate it to a virtual assistant or something like that. something I need to practice what I preach on, cause I probably need a VA.

[14:27] and then, not urgent and not important. And that one means just delete it. If it's not urgent and it's also not important. Just don't worry about it. Work focus on the stuff is going to help you grow, whether it's your business, whether it's your life professionally, whatever. It's not necessarily about solopreneurship.

[14:45] Maybe that's not for people or even entrepreneurship is not for people. Maybe it's, you you. just want to get a job or you want to do your job better. yeah, there's, we live in a time that all the algorithms are feeding us constantly about, go solo and you can do it.

[15:04] And entrepreneur, blah, blah, blah. And it's six figure seven figure eight figure. Like I did a video recently that said, that is like one of the biggest red flags, in my opinion. When you hear Oh, get you to seven figures. I'll get you to six figures. I'll get you to eight figures. And in the video, I said, like, how do we know the, all the figures aren't zeros,

[15:27] Ian: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[15:28] Dave: Like what, which figures are we talking about? Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine is a lot different than zero, zero, zero, zero one. anyway,

[15:38] Ian: what profit have you made? You might've had to invest like $999,999,

[15:44] Dave: Exactly. Yes. Yes. It's, yeah, it's, that is a big reason why yeah, there's, so much, Snake oil and out there as it applies to, to, business. And, it's something, one thing that I will also recommend people do is, like I'm very proud of the, I have almost 150 recommendations on my LinkedIn profile.

[16:11] And so I always. Tell people, Hey, just go click any of the links to those people and message them and say, I read your recommendation for Dave. is it really all that or whatever you want to ask? but these are real people. This is social proof. And so before people engage with coaches or consultants or.

[16:30] Agencies or whatever, check references. especially with ADHD, we're pretty quick to pull the trigger on things. so it's probably a good idea to, check those references before you, start spending a ton of money and stuff. It's also why my coaching is like pretty cheap, not the quality, but I keep the price pretty low.

[16:54] I will increase it in the coming months, but especially right now, I'm just, I'm keeping it low. So I can be accessible to more people.

[17:01] Ian: Yeah, no, that's that's great stuff. So thank you so much for coming on the show. I feel we've only scratched the surface. There's so much we could talk about. I've actually got loads more questions I was going to ask you. But I think we need to probably keep a lid on the amount of time this podcast episode goes on for.

[17:19] So I really appreciate your time. It's been awesome to hear your story. And, People can find out more about you if you go to whysquirrels. com. What, where's the best place to stalk you in a nice way on social? where's the best place?

[17:34] Dave: Yeah, I'm, Dave Delaney on all the places. And, I'm not, I'm definitely looking for an intern or somebody who can help me with running the social media for wise squirrels, because, as an early adopter in social, like certainly, I know how to do it all. It's just, I don't have the bandwidth.

[17:56] Ian: I'm with you on that one.

[17:57] Dave: Yeah. So I'm not, and I'm also pretty jaded. with the state of things, as I said, like Twitter's a dumpster fire now, I won't, I'm not even tweeting anymore. I'm at Dave Delaney on all the social networks, I think pretty much. And you can find me there, LinkedIn, whatever, but, Dave Delaney, not me, down on the screen.

[18:18] There it is. you can find some of my future forth business stuff and future forth. com, but just go to wisesquirrels.com. That's what we're talking about here.

[18:26] Ian: Yeah, exactly.

[18:27] Dave: So that's, where you'll find me.

[18:29] Ian: thanks, Dave. It's been great to have you on the show. Thank you so much. but yeah, we are out of time. Thank you so much for listening or for plugging us into your ears or watching on the YouTubes. But on the until next time, I encourage you to be smart with your ADHD. Toodaloo.

[18:46] ​