Smart ADHD Time Management Tips

By Ian Anderson Gray with Ari Tuckman

Smart ADHD Podcast

Episode 17

Duration: 26 minutes 57 seconds

Episode Theme: Expert

Full Transcript

October 17, 2024

Ari Tuckman

Do you find yourself constantly battling with time management? 
Are you tired of feeling like you're always behind, no matter how hard you try? 
Have you ever wondered why managing time seems so much harder when you have ADHD? 

In this episode, we tackle these pressing questions head-on with the help of Dr. Ari Tuckman, a leading psychologist and ADHD expert. Join us as we explore effective strategies for managing time, debunk common myths surrounding ADHD, and delve into the concept of 'time blindness'—all while sharing personal stories that make the journey relatable and insightful.

In this episode:

  • [0:00] – Understanding ADHD and Time Management
  • [0:28] – Introduction to the Smart ADHD Podcast
  • [0:34] – Meet Dr. Ari Tuckman: ADHD Expert
  • [0:51] – The Struggles of Time Management with ADHD
  • [1:08] – Personal Stories and Practical Tips
  • [1:20] – Ian Anderson Gray’s ADHD Journey
  • [2:25] – Welcome Dr. Ari Tuckman
  • [2:44] – Why Time Management is Challenging for ADHD
  • [6:41] – Addressing the Myth of Laziness
  • [9:22] – Understanding Time Blindness
  • [14:47] – Practical Time Management Strategies
  • [21:50] – Balancing Flexibility and Routine
  • [25:08] – Conclusion and Resources

Understanding Time Blindness

Time blindness is a fascinating yet frustrating aspect of ADHD that many of us experience. Essentially, it refers to the difficulty in perceiving the passage of time, which can lead to missed deadlines and last-minute scrambles.

Dr. Tuckman explains that this isn’t about laziness or a lack of motivation—it’s a genuine challenge that affects how we process time. By recognising this, we can begin to implement strategies to combat it.

One practical approach is to use visual timers or clocks that can help you see time passing. This simple change can make a world of difference, allowing you to stay aware of time in a way that feels tangible rather than abstract.

Practical Time Management Strategies

We also dove into a treasure trove of practical time management strategies tailored specifically for those of us with ADHD. Here are a few highlights:

– **Use Alarms and Reminders**: Setting alarms on your phone can serve as a simple yet effective tool to keep you on track. Whether it’s a reminder to start a task or to take a break, these little nudges can make all the difference.

– **Plan with Tools**: Dr. Tuckman suggested various planning tools that cater to different preferences. For example, if you’re more visual, a whiteboard or sticky notes might work better than digital calendars. Find what suits you and stick with it!

– **Balance Flexibility and Routine**: While it’s essential to maintain a routine, allowing for flexibility can help reduce the pressure of strict schedules. Embrace spontaneity where it fits, but also establish core routines that keep you grounded.

Addressing the Myth of Laziness

One of the most enlightening parts of our conversation was debunking the myth of laziness. Many individuals with ADHD often face misconceptions that they simply lack drive or motivation.

Dr. Tuckman emphasised that this is far from the truth; rather, ADHD presents unique challenges that can impact our productivity. By understanding this, not only can we be kinder to ourselves, but we can also seek out tailored strategies that work with our brains instead of against them.

So, if you find yourself grappling with time management or battling the misconceptions that often accompany ADHD, remember that you’re not alone. Embrace the strategies we’ve discussed, and allow yourself the space to grow and learn.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode! What strategies have you found effective in managing your time? Share your thoughts in the comments section below, and don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for more valuable insights!

For more from Dr. Ari Tuckman, check out his website at adultadhdbook.com.

Watch Episode 17

KF

About Ari Tuckman

Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, international presenter, author, and ADHD thought leader.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Ian: Welcome to the Smart ADHD podcast. This episode is all about Smart ADHD time management tips. And I was incredibly honored to be joined by an expert very well known in the ADHD world, Dr. Ari Tuckman. He's a psychologist, international presenter, author, and ADHD thought leader. And he's written several books, including ADHD After Dark and Understand Your Brain, Get More Done.
[00:00:23] Time management is one of the biggest struggles for those of us with ADHD, and Ari shares why that's the case. And we talk about time blindness, the myth of laziness, and why ADHD is more about difficulties with planning and time perception than about attention or hyperactivity. You're going to hear personal stories and some really practical tips For managing your time better, like using alarms, planning tools, and even visualizing future consequences to boost motivation.
[00:00:51] Let's get on with it right now.
[00:00:52] Ari, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us here on Smart ADHD. How are you doing?
[00:00:57] Ari: I am doing good, and I am really happy to be here. Always happy to be here for things like this. Always happy to talk about ADHD and, how to get things done and be more effective.
[00:01:07] Ian: Yeah that's definitely the topic of today's episode. We're talking about time management, which is something I never really thought about being an ADHD thing. But since I was diagnosed two or three years ago, I've realized this whole thing of time blindness and time management. And it's interesting a lot of people say that people with ADHD are always late for things.
[00:01:29] I tend to have the opposite problem. I tend to get. I overcompensate. I get to places too early, like to the airport. I get there far too early because it's just, I can't cope with the anxiety. But that's a whole other thing. So let's start with why is time management such a common struggle for people with ADHD?
[00:01:49] Ian: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. There's no, There's no, Time word in there. So why is that a common struggle?
[00:01:55] Ari: Part of the problem is we're stuck with the term, because at this point, if you change it in the diagnostic manual, you also then need to reopen all the legislation. In every state, in every country that protects kids and adults with ADHD, because if you change the name, you no longer qualify and God help you to open that process up.
[00:02:15] So yeah, ADHD is about a lot more than attention and hyperactivity. But when you get down to it, ADHD really is about time. It is about seeing time, And feeling the future, which is really motivation so we all have our moments that we get distracted. We all forget things.
[00:02:34] We're all disorganized or don't put things away or procrastinate. That's just human frailty. You know what I mean? None of us are perfect, but folks with ADHD have those struggles more and it really comes down to being more strongly pulled by whatever is happening in this moment.
[00:02:52] And having a harder time putting that aside and instead saying, no, that's not the thing I need to focus on this thing that's better for me in the future. A simple example is if you're a kid in class, let's be honest, looking out the window or looking at what your classmate is doing is probably more interesting, no offence, than what the teacher is saying, but definitely what the teacher is saying is going to serve you better three days from now, when the test shows up, Like being distracted by something more interesting in the moment, and then you pay a price for it in the future or having trouble motivating yourself to get going on some boring task that's definitely not as fun now, but is better for you later, whether it's an English paper or getting taxes done, or I don't know, cleaning your gutters or other boring things that adults have to do, . So it's really it is all about seeing time and feeling the future.
[00:03:48] Ian: That's fascinating. So there's definitely the motivation side of things there. And it seems I've thought about this, that I always think about what I'm feeling in the moment. Think I'm approaching it from an emotional point of view. I think what do I feel like doing now?
[00:04:02] And I don't seem to have much love for future Ian. I don't really think about him and the consequences is that kind of a common thing that i'm feeling there? Yeah,
[00:04:13] Ari: Exactly it. And again, everybody does this, right? If we were all 100 percent logical, we would all start saving for retirement at 20. None of us would eat, junk food. We would all go to bed on time, right? It's obvious to know what to do, but obviously we don't do it. And it's because some things are much more enjoyable in the moment, right? Staying up late to watch another episode of the show that you're loving, or I don't know, letting it rip when your spouse pisses you off and just saying the thing that you're feeling, even though 4 seconds later, you're going to feel awful and they'll never forget it, or spending too much money on something or, it's all about what the pull is in this moment, while ignoring the future consequence. So my sort of unofficial slogan of ADHD time management is by the time you feel it, it's too late.
[00:05:07] Ian: That sounds familiar. I wasn't gonna ask, I wasn't gonna ask you this question, but I think it's important because I'm just concerned for listeners listening to this that they're already starting to beat themselves up. And there's this kind of voice that keeps popping into our heads but yeah, it's because you're lazy.
[00:05:24] And we all know that's not true, but let's just quickly address that, because that is a common misconception. People with ADHD are just lazy. Yeah.
[00:05:33] Ari: In some ways folks with ADHD actually work a lot harder, like it is much harder to stay up all night to finish something. It's a much more terrible experience. You suffer much more for it. Like it's not recommended to do it that way, but it's not a sign of laziness.
[00:05:49] So I think in terms of this this is that thing about awareness, right where it gets a little bit nuanced, but it's really important. So being aware of these are things that are hard for me it's hard for me to do these things. And maybe these are the reasons why it's hard for me to do them. And also knowing that here are some things I'm going to do to manage it more effectively. We all have things that we struggle with. Nobody's amazing at everything, right? We all have weaknesses. We all have challenges. We have situations in our life that pull for abilities we don't have mastered, right? So that's a universal experience again.
[00:06:28] If you have ADHD, certain specific types of things are going to be more hard for you than they are for the person next door. So acknowledging it, being aware of it, not being defensive about it, but also taking active responsibility to manage it well, so that you can live the kind of life that you want to live, right?
[00:06:48] And that's really, let's actually put a big spotlight on that, right? You're not managing your ADHD for the benefit of the people around you. You're managing your ADHD because you want to live the life you want to live. You want to accomplish what's important to you. You want to feel like you have meaningful relationships and you're involved in things or personal value that hopefully make the world a better place.
[00:07:09] Right? That's the goal that we all have. And I think, too often, if you're behind the eight ball in life and on your, on managing your ADHD, too much of life feels like avoiding problems more so than creating good things. So the reason to understand this, to invest yourself in understanding ADHD through podcasts like this and other ways is so that you can live that better life.
[00:07:36] Ian: Yeah, that's awesome stuff. It's there is always hope. It's just so easy just in those dark, difficult times that I'm sure we all go through from time to time, it's easy to lose hope. And that's one of the reasons why we do this podcast.
[00:07:49] What about time blindness? Is that the same thing? Or is it different? This, for example, like I will get stuck in the task, and I'll either spend far too long on it, or I will sometimes the opposite can be true, there's something that is actually really simple, but I make it into this massive big deal that's going to I think it's going to take me all day.
[00:08:09] And actually, it's going to take me five minutes. So what's all that about?
[00:08:12] Ari: Yeah. Time is very subjective, again, for all of us. But, I think more again, I'm going to keep saying this, more so for folks with ADHD, fun things fly by. Boring things drag on forever. True for all people, more true for some people. This idea of time blindness, it's a great term.
[00:08:32] Now, obviously, it doesn't mean that you're like fully blind to time, but it means Having a harder time, having more difficulty seeing time which might mean registering. Wait, how long have I been doing this? Literally yesterday I was talking to a client and he was talking about when once he starts playing guitar and he just really into it and loves it, he blinks and it's an hour.
[00:08:53] Because he is so absorbed into it, and it's great, except if he was supposed to leave 40 minutes ago. It's not as great. So some of it is that of losing track of time or having trouble estimating how long things are going to take. We, everybody tends to under, we all underestimate generally folks ADHD really underestimate.
[00:09:14] And it's Hey, remember that one time this took me 20 minutes? I think I'm, I think it'll be 20 minutes, right? All the stars are going to align once again. This is going to be the perfect situation. But it's it's never 20. Like that one time was 20 minutes. Every single million other times, not 20, probably more like 40.
[00:09:30] Let's bank on an hour. But it's also a thing of being able to track a coming time as in I got to get out of here at three. What time is it? 2.15. Okay, cool. Okay, wait, what time is it now? 2.37. All right, cool. What time? 2.52. All right. Yeah. And not kind of getting caught up in like, oh, I'll just do this or this will just take a minute by the way not one single thing in the universe actually takes a minute.
[00:09:52] So that's a lie, like adding these things and then all of a sudden looking up and it's 3.17 and you're like, oh my God now I'm late, so so it's like It adds a lot of stress to your life. It can also add stress to other people's lives, but it also sets other people up to look at you and say, they're just not that serious. Look how irresponsible they are. They showed up 20 minutes late, and not realizing how hard maybe you work to try to get there, but couldn't pull it off.
[00:10:21] Ian: Yeah. Yeah, that's a big issue. So for those of us who sometimes overcompensate for example, I mentioned going to the airport, like it's a stressful thing. I've been late for a flight before. I know how that feels. It's not a nice feeling. I want to avoid. all those bad feelings.
[00:10:39] And I don't always do it. But my wife is different. Like she, she is much more flexible. But I get stressed, I get so anxious. And I want to leave ridiculously early. It doesn't always work that way. But is this kind of Am I using my anxiety as a kind of a tool to hack the system in a bad way?
[00:10:57] What's going on there?
[00:10:58] Ari: it, yeah. It's it's interesting, a little bit of anxiety is actually good, right? A little bit of anxiety sharpens the focus, I don't know, if you're crossing a busy street, you don't want to be too cavalier about it, like you want to be a little bit anxious, not like paralyzed, but like a little anxiety is good, or.
[00:11:16] I got that big meeting with my boss. I really don't feel like I'm on top of things. I think I need to, I got to go through my stuff a little bit more and blah, blah, blah. So a little anxiety is good, but rather quickly, it becomes more bad than good. For you getting to the airport early, if it's a flight that no way, no how, absolutely can't miss it, then, perhaps that's worth it, frankly, but if it's a more whatever, it'll be fine, then I think this is one of those places that Like ADHD shows up, right?
[00:11:50] Technically to qualify towards a diagnosis, you have, there has to be some impairment. You got to pay a price. So missing flights is an obvious price, but being there 4 hours early. Is also a price just ask your kids as opposed to just more casually getting there a couple hours early, like Ah, whatever, less of a price or having to work twice as long to get the work done, but you got a good, good grade. I think you're fine. But no, there's a price of many extra hours and stress and lost sleep. It's not the same, like there is a cost associated with that. And I think that when, we said this before, when smart people's ADHD is missed, it's because the person isn't asking these questions.
[00:12:36] Don't tell me just what you did. Tell me how you got there.
[00:12:38] Ian: Yes. That's really helpful way of putting it actually, because I think, yeah it often certainly an issue was probably an issue everywhere in the world, but here in the UK, there's a, it seems to me that a lot of people are being missed diagnosed or not diagnosed at all because they are smart and they have developed strategies, not all of them smart.
[00:12:57] I have to say, I'm not like, for example, these turning up to the airport ridiculously early is not sure that's necessarily smart, but it's a hack that maybe some people develop as well.
[00:13:07] I want to get into some let's look at some positives and how, what we can actually do for those of us with ADHD that maybe struggle with time management. For practical time management, what are the strategies that people with ADHD can implement right away?
[00:13:19] Ari: Some of it is the obvious stuff of setting reminders and alarms. Some of it is really about attention in the sense of reducing the distractions and temptations that are going to pull you aside. And either add time to the thing you're doing, it took me two hours, but if I actually really timed it, it was like 45 minutes of doing the thing I'm supposed to do and an hour and 15 of screwing around with other stuff, but that's not a time management problem; that's a distraction problem, technically. So some of it is that. Honestly just having a bunch of clocks visible and specifically having old fashioned analog clocks, even if it's a digital version of one, but that seeing hands on a clock move is much more tangible. You can see the march of time, but digital clocks are completely abstract, right? These lines move around on the screen, but they don't mean anything really. Also, actually planning out your time, right? I'm going to do this for an hour.
[00:14:15] Then I have this meeting, but then I'm, I got to spend a couple hours. I got to work on this other thing. Planning work times, or kind of time blocking, from 2 to 3, I'm going to, bang out emails. Being intentional about how you plan your time, I think, is a part of it as well. Don't just be reactive to what the day brings you. Because it's not going to be the most important things. Or it'll be where it'll be things that are important to other people, but maybe not as important to you. I think also being intentional about what are the deadlines? I think soft deadlines are killer, like they're guaranteed procrastination.
[00:14:51] So let's get clear on what the deadline is, and also do I believe it? Also, by the way, if I do I even want to do it like it's a fine idea, but am I actually going to do it? Do I want to do it? Is it important to me? So you don't just take on just because something got thrown at you doesn't mean it's actually worth doing.
[00:15:10] So that's a part of it to really think about. Do I want to do this? And I think for big things, so that big quarterly report that you definitely can't do the night before literally scheduling in times in your week or month to work on it, and having these kind of interim deadlines and then somehow or other forcing yourself to actually do it.
[00:15:34] But I think if you in general, the advice I give is tend to put it earlier in the day, rather than later. So if you say Friday afternoon at 2 o'clock, I'm going to work on that quarterly report. I will give you a million dollars, if one time you work on it on Friday at 2. That's never going to happen. So let's not fool ourselves, putting it on Tuesday at 9 am that might work out. So being smart and intentional about where you plan things.
[00:16:03] Ian: That makes sense. So understanding how your brain works. I agree with you. I think even though I wasn't a morning person, I think that is actually the best time for me to get this stuff done. And I love the idea of using analog. I'm massively into my tech.
[00:16:17] I love tech, but I've got one of those time timers and the, I don't know, the physicality of it, it just makes a massive difference. So I've used loads of different tools over the years. Like I've used alarms, calendar apps. I love my Google calendar. I use to do lists, project management tools, all this kind of stuff.
[00:16:35] And I think. I've done time blocking all this kind of stuff and I had an aha moment when I heard you speaking on another podcast I was listening in preparation for today. And the issue I think sometimes is You might be reminded by your to do list or your alarm or calendar, whatever, to do the item, but if you're not feeling motivated to do the thing, that's the problem.
[00:16:59] And I think this is why I, so I have worked with my assistant to plan, we've got to do lists and then we put it into the Google calendar. And then I look at it in the Google Calendar. There's so many other things I'd rather do. So do you think that do you think that is the big problem? No matter what tool we use?
[00:17:15] Is it does it actually really come down to motivation?
[00:17:18] Ari: so to do the right thing at the right time, three things need to happen. First of all, you need to plan it, meaning what's going to happen when. Then the second thing is, in that moment, here it is that time that I'm supposed to do that thing, you need to be aware of it. So if you forget it, if you're distracted, if something else pulls you off, and you forget that today is, or that now is the time to work on whatever, then it's not going to happen, right? Game over, done. So, awareness is built with things like reminders and alarms and post it notes and Google alerts and having it in your schedule and all of that stuff. But as you very rightly point out, just because you're aware, You're still a long way away from doing it, so the third part then is the motivation to actually do that thing in that moment.
[00:18:06] And, I think the planning and awareness is the easy part. The motivation is the harder part. And, for the motivation is where you get into this sort of feeling the future that we're talking about. So like right now in this moment, don't want to do it. I'd rather do any other thing.
[00:18:24] But "do I want to do it?" is really the wrong question to ask, because you're never going to want to do it. Like, why would the time will never come where you're like, oh, now I feel like doing it. Rather, what happens is the deadline comes, you don't have a choice. So rather than asking, do I want to do it?
[00:18:40] The better question is, am I better off for doing it now? And the way to answer that is to put yourself into that future moment. Let's say it's preparing for a meeting with your boss in a couple days or whatever, but we'll pick that. So to see yourself walking into that meeting.
[00:18:57] How do I feel in that moment? What's going through my head? What questions am I hoping he doesn't answer me or she doesn't answer, ask me if this comes up, what do I say? If that comes up, like, how do I feel walking in? Do I want to feel confident walking in? Yeah, I got it.
[00:19:14] It'll be fine. Do I want to be calm because I know I can answer any question? Do I want to walk out of there with my head held high? Versus walking out of there feeling like I dodged a bullet and I'm just a fraud and a liar. So really feeling that future moment as vividly as you can to sort of imagine that . It's not a movie. It's not some abstract thing of it sure would be good if there was peace in the world, but rather literally in your bones feeling that moment. If anything, that will be where the motivation comes from.
[00:19:50] Ian: I love that idea of visualizing it. It's not something I think that will always come easy. But it's something
[00:19:58] Ari: It doesn't.
[00:20:00] Ian: It's a habit to build. It's a habit to build life like all of these things. But it's but also like it's interesting that you said that because that is like that is an emotional thing as well.
[00:20:09] We're looking that we're feeling we're having a vision of what it could look like if we actually do the thing. So yeah. We're almost out of time, Ari. So something I hear a lot from people. they love the idea of being productive.
[00:20:20] They love the idea of, having a calendar block, time blocking, all this kind of stuff. But the problem with that is they then end up resenting that because. It feels too restrictive. And as ADHD people we like have flexibility. This is one of the reasons why I run my own business because I have that freedom and that flexibility that can also be a problem.
[00:20:41] So how do we build a flexible routine that doesn't feel too restrictive if it is that even possible?
[00:20:48] Ari: Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it's a great question. So so the thing of it is, if you try to lose weight on the all celery diet, like you're not going to get through lunch, right? Let's be honest, right? Like it's just never going to work. So There's definitely a balance to be struck here where you need a system that's robust enough to be effective is it actually working, but also that it can't feel like a prison sentence, because then you're not going to stick with it.
[00:21:16] So it has to last and last. And, so some of this, I think, is knowing yourself well, of what am I willing to do? What feels sustainable and workable? But even before you get to the nuts and bolts of that, I think is a more fundamental question of. What am I doing here?
[00:21:33] What do I want my life to look like? What goals am I working towards? What's important to me, and why is it important to me? And to be clear about that, because that's why you're doing the work. That's why you're sometimes doing the boring thing rather than the more fun thing. Or that's why you're doing the hard and that you hate sometimes, but It's good to have done it.
[00:21:55] So you do it. Really getting clear on the reasons why what your motivation is, and then to remind yourself of that in those harder moments, and then to set up a system that really is workable and sustainable. And maybe that means that it's flexible and there's variety and there's like novelty sometimes and all of that.
[00:22:18] Absolutely. Maybe sometimes you just got to buckle down and do the thing you don't feel like doing, but you do it anyway. But I'm a big fan of setting up systems that don't require tons of willpower because willpower kind of sucks, to be honest, like it's never as good as we hope. So if your system depends on willpower, you're doomed, so set up smooth, good, good workflow, streamline processes, automate things like payments and stuff, set up reminders, get rid of all the junk and clutter so you're not getting lost in the extra stuff and getting sidetracked, make it as efficient as possible so that, only so a mortal amount of willpower is all that's necessary to be effective in it.
[00:23:04] Ian: Yeah, definitely. I love that stuff. I Yeah, don't don't rely on the willpower because it's just not good. It's not gonna end happily Is it I think things like I find Accountability with other people really helps like I'm a group with some other guys who do similar things.
[00:23:20] So we check in with each other that kind of stuff works and just talking like talking to my wife about what I'm going to be doing thinking about those big questions because otherwise I tend to get just focused on the details and I lose perspective. So all of that is fantastic. So thank you so much.
[00:23:35] It's been great to have you on. You are coming back to talk about executive functions. The smart ADHD guide to executive function. If I can even say the word that would be good. But thank you so much. How can people find out more about you? I know you've written quite a few books which definitely you're watching, listening, you should check out what are you working on at the moment?
[00:23:54] Yeah. My website is adultADHDbook.com. If you go to the speaking page, you can see a bunch of stuff about a bunch of recordings and things like that, but I've got content all over the internet and I'm easy to find, but the thing I'm working on, so I actually put together a five hour video series on productivity and you can get that off of the speaking page as well, and it's five hours because that is, what it takes and then some like being more productive is not like a one trick pony kind of a thing.
[00:24:23] If you struggle to being more productive. This is why right? It's complicated and it's not simple or nuanced or it's not simple. Like it is nuanced and complicated. So I've got that and I converted that into a book and I'm now in the process of, hitting up some agents and then getting, out to a publisher.
[00:24:43] So who? I don't know. Maybe in a year it'll be out. I don't know. But but like I said, I love thinking about this. I love talking about it comes up all the time in my office. And I think it's an important topic.
[00:24:53] It is, it definitely is. Definitely check out Ari's website and I'm looking forward to seeing when this book is out, but these things always take longer than you want, and it's usually out of your hands, isn't it, with publishers and stuff, thank you so much and thank you so much for watching or plugging us into your ears.
[00:25:09] The show notes for this will be at smartadhd.me, as always. But until next time, I encourage you to be smart with your ADHD. Toodaloo!

Ian Anderson Gray

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